In Search of Healing

“You are betraying our friendship”, she cried over and over as Shechem persisted. Breathing heavily, and repeating jerkily, “It’s OK”, he lowered her to the ground. His sweaty hard arms wrapped tightly around her made struggle futile, and descending into a quiet whimper she repeated, “You are betraying our friendship.” 

The weather was great, Dinah had completed her chores early and she decided to take a stroll into town to visit her girl friends (Genesis 34). The girls laid a blanket under the terebinth tree, brought out some snacks and drink to enjoy each other’s company. They chatted and laughed way into the evening when a group of eligible young men strolled by. Giggling, the girls quietly speculated about each, and spoke of their dreams of marriage, and their plans for children. 

As they chatted, Shechem strolled over and it was clear his interest was in Dinah. The other girls drifted away, each suddenly thinking of things they had to do. Dinah and Shechem were now alone. The conversation was relaxed and she agreed to take a walk. Looking back Dinah wondered where she had gone wrong. She may have seemed a bit eager but did that suggest that she was ‘easy’?

The pain of the memory and the heaviness of heart made her desperate. She had to tell someone. Her distraught father was gentle, sympathetic, and distractedly promised her all the support she needed. Her brothers erupted in loud violent threats that only increased the pain and self-loathing she felt. Storming away, they left her alone and terrified by their angry ranting. Their threats would end in murder and destruction.

Rape— A sharply barbed word to say, and an unbearable load to carry. What is our attitude to young women and men who live through this experience? Blaming them is not fair. Most of them already blame themselves. Offering words of solace is helpful but not enough. What are the emotional and physical needs of people going through that experience— Medical attention, counseling, social support, financial support, a patient non-judgmental ear? Do we know how to give support without judging?

RAINN, the nation’s anti-sexual violence organization documents that in America, there is an attempt at or completion of rape every 68 seconds. One out of every 6 American women has experienced the attempt or act of rape. One in every 33 American males has experienced rape or attempted rape in his life time. And 9 out of every 10 victims are females. The majority of those victims experienced this  at or near home. This data confirm that this peril is real and pervasive and should therefore receive serious attention by influential social organizations. 

Churches and community agencies are well positioned to provide such support but are often judgmental, daunting, and shrouded in shame. Needed are proactive programs that teach healthy, responsible gender interactions as well as promote self-agency among our young people. Programs that support victims in reclaiming their lives are also desperately needed. 

Today’s Goal: To be the non-judgmental support that someone needs as they navigate a devastating life experience.